Tonight I sit here in awe of what today was.
I’ve survived today, sinful as it is I can’t help but worry about tomorrow.
So sorry, I am planning for tomorrow. Tomorrow I want to live. Tomorrow I want to live my final day. Not necessarily to die the day after. But to rewind tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll smile more, I’ll hug everyone. I’ll smile at strangers and ask children on the roads their names.
Tomorrow I’ll tip the clippies.
It’s been months, I am lighter than I have been all this while. No, nothing got better. I created peace amidst the chaos. I got better. Did it alone, did it depressed, did it broken and nursed me without touching the wounds. See I believed there was a way of explaining dismal without feeling hurt again.
I believed and so I executed.
So tomorrow I want to live and dance like it’s 4 am and the clubs are shutting at 5 am. In awe, in glee, in pride. I want to live and forget how surviving felt like. Never again to wonder where the rain started beating me. This is where the rain stops beating me!