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TAMED INSECURITIES

Shilla by Shilla
September 26, 2021
in Word
Reading Time: 2 mins read
21
TAMED INSECURITIES

A guy tapped your titties when you were passing from different directions when you were 12. It enraged you, you confronted him but he made fun of you and everyone watched because it was just a flat chest you’re a little girl. So you bottled that up because to everyone it’s so lame and maybe you’re overeating. So you move on a while or maybe just put some balm in the wound by not thinking about it.

At 15 you got your menses for the first time in class and everyone in class looked at you with disgust and no one could stop talking about it for a month. The sadists even started counting your calendar cycle so they’d make fun of you in the next cycle. It’s killed you a million deaths every time you woke up to go to class again but when you said you want to switch schools your father said no.

Girl, you’re still bottling it up and that pain you feel is now turning into anger. You’re a city teenage girl who owned the world and wanted to feel like a celebrity on stage at the jazz show so you put on that pretty American skirt that exposed your thighs. They called you names so you opted for pajamas all day and quit parties.

A random guy said hello and you didn’t respond and you got insulted for that so you feel small and now your anger is breeding rage young girl. You’ve become so insecure about everything that now you can’t differentiate kindness and desire. Every man that smiles at you gets a touch of your butt cheek and now baby girl your rage has become hate. You hate you so much that you can’t even love anyone properly. You are so damaged you don’t see a way out of your shame because your childhood insecurities remain unchecked. Nobody saw beyond that tap a guy at your twelve put on your titties. Or that moment when you were called a whore by a stranger you ignored after he said hello.

So now your esteem remains in the hands of externals, you’re at the mercy of extended kindness that you ruin yourself to meet the fulfillment of those around you. It hurts you but you love the pain, chaos is all you’ve known you don’t know any other way. You’re so used to bottling up and now at 35, you remain a caged little girl at the dependence of recognition because for too long you’ve been unable to recognize yourself. You give too much to try to unleash those insecurities with verification but still, it’s tamed! You just won’t let it out even when you want to. Because young you were shoved off and scared away by people meant to protect the child!

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Comments 21

  1. Faith Mueni says:
    9 months ago

    Such a nice work mommy 💏💏

    Reply
  2. Sara says:
    9 months ago

    So many girls will be able to relate to this🌹amazing

    Reply
  3. anonymous says:
    9 months ago

    gosh this poet relates in all possible ways 🙃……and I thank God for blessing you with the gift of being able to speak up for a bunch of us ladies who can’t speak for ourselves🥲…
    nice work Shilla lol❤️❤️❤️

    Reply
  4. Jennifer Mwata says:
    9 months ago

    I really love this peace of work. It’s reality!You are so good at this girl, keep it up 👏👏👏

    Reply
  5. Jennifer Mwata says:
    9 months ago

    I really love this piece of work. It’s reality!You are so good at this girl, keep it up 👏👏👏

    Reply
  6. Paula says:
    9 months ago

    Oooooh my🥺🥺 this piece here is so educative and much needed ❤️❤️❤️good work sissy

    Reply
  7. TGUL says:
    9 months ago

    This is the kind of literacy we need💯💯💯keep going ❤️

    Reply
    • Irene says:
      9 months ago

      Nice work 💯💯♥️

      Reply
  8. Kristy Wright Chanya says:
    9 months ago

    This should be published… Some sort of ignored intimacy should be stopped.

    Reply
  9. Peter Mulei says:
    9 months ago

    Educational💯

    Reply
  10. Turuuuu says:
    9 months ago

    This platform is my all time motivation 💯💯 I love your work

    Reply
  11. Hellen says:
    9 months ago

    Nice one ❤️I love the piece

    Reply
  12. Saudayusuf says:
    9 months ago

    👏👏👏❤

    Reply
  13. Sandra says:
    9 months ago

    🙌🙌🙌facts

    Reply
  14. yvonnekinya93@gmail.com says:
    9 months ago

    Nice one mamaa ♥️♥️

    Reply
  15. Dama says:
    9 months ago

    Informative and educational,,keep up mamaa❤❤

    Reply
  16. Heri says:
    9 months ago

    Eeeiy✔❤❤❤❤ nice one girl 💯

    Reply
  17. Festo says:
    9 months ago

    Medusa herself..u freeze my mind Everytime I look at your facts🔥

    Reply
  18. Laura Ree says:
    9 months ago

    Wooooww so inspiring momaa❤️❤️❤️

    Reply
  19. Richie says:
    9 months ago

    Wow 💯

    Reply
  20. Mulondu says:
    5 months ago

    the piece is said to only take 2min to read… what about reading more than once

    love you, girl

    Reply

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