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Home Happening

SOUL NUDES!!

Shilla by Shilla
February 13, 2022
in Happening
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SOUL NUDES!!
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To not question why am here. Why I breathe. To live. To love to live. To never wallow in the whys and hows do I do this! Why do I get up! Why I never stop! To know when to sigh, gasp for air. In glee and desire for satisfaction breath life into my sooty soul, to smile at the dim light my eyes light and whisper, “Shilla you’re young, no you’re an old soul, you’re doing fine.”

I cringe away from everything called good, not because I take delight in the vile!
I want to see people eat and laugh, I just can’t be at the table. And no matter how bad my heart wants to dine, I know for sure my brain rebels in the belief that I am a lone wolf! That I do not belong here. And it’s not that I didn’t need anyone! The truth is, no one needed me here!
Not in pride no, but being built in the belief that I belong alone! So sorry that my damaged self doesn’t know how to respond when someone genuinely loves me. So I run for the reasons that I want to stay. Don’t know how to react when I see you wounded. As good as I am in words I can’t give condolences coz I feel I’ll hurt you a bit more than you already are. I can’t say sorry when you’re sick because I don’t know how to behave to wounds! Ignored my own till they became scars so I ignore yours too and assume you’ll be okay over time!

Sorry I fail as a friend, as a sister, as a daughter in a variety of ways. Sorry, my rage beats my humanity.
Thus depression has become my new sanity fighting to survive in a mind that wants to die! Am even more sorry that I like it like this! I hate themes full of remorse, I prefer the moments when my mind takes charge. When the heart does, things go way hay!

Too meek I make mistakes in attempts to right my wrongs. The critics choke me to the core so now I deliberately do wrong!
I’ll not use my being human as an excuse to color my flaws white! I am a villain in stories people haven’t read out loud, or maybe I am my mother’s nightmare, or again the bad idea that was still an idea!
Allow me, please!

So you sip your juice and judge me please vice Jesus!! for I am a sinner! And my nudity unveils at the touch of ink!! Anytime I sat to pen down, I only ever penned pictures of me photographers couldn’t take!

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Comments 26

  1. dennille says:
    12 months ago

    Wooow ! this is so great especially to hear from a young lady who has gone a lot through her entire lifetime. I would love to hear more and more from you I’m your only number one fun.
    Bravo good work.

    Reply
  2. Sane❤️ says:
    12 months ago

    I prefer the moments when my mind takes charge. When the heart does, things go way hay!,,perfection 😍

    Reply
    • Irene says:
      12 months ago

      Wow this is amazing shilla 👏👏 keep up with the good work❤️❤️👏

      Reply
  3. Faint pen says:
    12 months ago

    “So sorry that my damaged self doesn’t know how to respond when someone genuinely loves me. So I run for the same reasons that I want to stay.”

    I will leave to remember this

    Reply
  4. Shilla says:
    12 months ago

    Anytime I sat to pen down,I only ever drew pictures of me photographers couldn’t take.. yea this is me💔

    Reply
  5. Dama says:
    12 months ago

    You’re great at conveying things literally..keep up Sheila ♥️🥺♥️

    Reply
  6. Dama says:
    12 months ago

    keep up Sheila ♥️🥺♥️

    Reply
  7. Gloria says:
    12 months ago

    Nice one shilla

    Reply
  8. Saudayusuf says:
    12 months ago

    ❤👏👏🔥

    Reply
  9. Tonnie says:
    12 months ago

    Niiiiice 💯💯💯💯

    Reply
  10. Faith Mueni says:
    12 months ago

    Amazing mom🥰🥰🥰🥰

    Reply
  11. Cindy says:
    12 months ago

    ❤❤🔥🔥

    Reply
  12. Sandra says:
    12 months ago

    AMAZING MAster❤❤❤

    Reply
  13. Kendy says:
    12 months ago

    this is so great….I literally love it you speak so much truth sometimes it feels like you’ve been living some of our lives….. keep up Shilla your a masterpiece ❤️💯

    Reply
  14. Maggy says:
    12 months ago

    Win win win fuck anything else🤧💕you never disappoint and am always proud of you💞😍

    Reply
  15. Kiki says:
    12 months ago

    To love to live woow💯❤️…. congrats shii😚

    Reply
  16. Tasha says:
    12 months ago

    Love love love how you convey different thoughts and emotions into your pieces…brilliance at its finest…continue winning baff….very proud of you ❤️

    Reply
  17. GigaChad says:
    12 months ago

    I enjoyed this.

    Reply
  18. Jackie Kimeu says:
    12 months ago

    Great piece!

    Reply
  19. Edla says:
    12 months ago

    🤗🤗Impressive baby girl ❤️

    Reply
  20. Josh says:
    12 months ago

    What a piece…. Shillaa….you are above all. .i love you staffs💚

    Reply
  21. Brenda says:
    12 months ago

    This is amaizing 😍😍good job shilla

    Reply
  22. Peter Mulei says:
    12 months ago

    We all have to bow to the stitching in here, talent💯

    Reply
  23. Mulondu says:
    12 months ago

    “I’ll not use my being human as an excuse to colour my flaws white… I’m the villain in stories people haven’t read out loud”
    Woow, Shillah… You have done it again, voiced what we are too broken to say…

    👊Bravo!!! I’m always behind you🥳

    Reply
  24. IFRCD Tiemo says:
    11 months ago

    Lovely… I like the last paragraph 👏🏽🧬

    Reply
  25. Kyendereta says:
    10 months ago

    You just got yourself a new reader.

    Reply

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