Purity,trust,love,bond, deception,betrayal,breach of trust! First, it’s saddening, breeds the need to isolate. Anger issues or perhaps a weirdo is the new tag you’ll be baptized haha!
Rewind a bit, no tilt your memory to the angle where your nudity unveils. Yes yes there, to the roots of your acrimony. Your initial baby traumas, the tantrums thrown too soon to you by your internals without even realizing they’re doing it. The pain of suffocating with no inhalers. I get you, you chose to try healing, to try to believe in goodness, the goodness that could be if you skipped this phase of bitterness. I’ll invade your soul for a second and rub a little salt to the wounds inflicted on you growing up.
The pain you didn’t talk about because it seemed lame to do so. Or your father calling you names and screaming negativity into your soul. Am sorry am shooting your soul with echoed words from your roots. Pardon me again, I’ll remind you of your failed relationships because you never felt good enough for the one you loved. Tell me about the betrayal of your beloved when time passed and they loved you lesser, how they played your soul and duped you into believing in the abyss of passion just to drop your heart at its best.
Too insecure bout yourself nobody ever gave you a spoon of esteem. You felt like a failure all along and discolored your sadness with critics. Sought human approval so long, been human to them too bad you tend to forget you’re human too. Now you’re too mean to others for not clowning as you have been. So you feed your ego and balm your wound at the expense of the unwounded humans. Now you’re an acrimonious sadist who can’t bear the void digging inside of you. Reality bites doesn’t it?
To the boy who’s mother lied to that men don’t cry, so you swallowed your tears and let your pain rummage your soul awakening your demons. Humanity has left you so you churn spite everywhere you go. And to the girl who cries in the shower not to be seen weak. This is to the real you. That you gave your all when you thought you were desperate.
You’re just an adult who’s a child at heart who was misunderstood. Acrimony has become a part of you because you caged that sadness so long it breed the demons running your life. Acrimony has stuck with you so bad you donno how to save yourself so you bleed on people who didn’t cut you. You take pleasure at chaotic socialism you donno any other way to do it. Sorry younging. You didn’t deserve that! Nobody does