Getting away, from myself and you. Getting away from your flaws, burying the pieces of a book you didn’t want to catch your eye. Killing the parts of you that tell you it’s not okay to be totally okay.
To the egoistic part of your existence that believes you are a goddess who should be ruthless and doors should fly open at the sense of your scent from the corners. Ego wins. Love loses.
You loved him too much but your pride couldn’t let you submit in the name of love, because society planted a belief that queens do not bow. Society told you that you are a “king” and that what men can do, women can do better. Haha, joke on you queen, you called my brother to get your hair done but couldn’t stay in on Tuesday night when he asked you to skip the girls’ night out to stay home and go to bed happy.
You make me proud goddess!
Owh, yea I remember now, it’s deeper than just that. I remember my mother canned me for the lost coin just to realize it was my brother who took it. An apology would send her to the grave though, she didn’t apologize, instead that night she cooked my favorite meal that I could eat much because of the ache. No no, not on my back, in my heart. The shards cut through my whole existence, and there for a minute, a five-year-old child wished to die. I hear now they baptized it, it’s termed suicidal. I was suicidal.
You do know that you hurt that girl you said you loved so much, you are also mad because she is mad, but no bro, you’re not sorry. It’s a cascade of remorse from the flaws of your past. But still, you’ll point me out for mentioning the past, when you’re the better version of flawless.
No, beautiful bitches do not owe anyone an apology, they can pull whoever they wish you see. Just how beautiful are you Triza? That it got in your head we’re now a nuisance to your environment. Haha chill Zack, I remember it took you three years to convince Grace to be yours. Is that you I saw being goofy with Tracy too? I’ll act blindly anyway, you people are not my problem.
Owh wait, you can’t bow to no man but you get on your knees to jerk off an oldie! Bitch calm down. Standards are too high we’re scared to breathe the same air as you the goddess because your ego created an illusion in our heads.
We’ll not take an apology anyway, besides, you are not sorry.
My ego too won’t let me accept your apology, nor try to mend things. It sits higher, for I believe in revenge, I will heal in heaven!
I remember how I lost my beloved to my ego.
I’ll give you a glimpse. It was just a deafening silence that turned loud. Too loud that my eardrums explode and I lost my ability to hear. So I learned sign language to save myself a little dignity in a sane society.
Tell my beloved when you see him, that I cannot hear, but my hands are magic now. It was ego, the ego that couldn’t let anyone talk first, so bad we tested it like this. It was careless but still, I lost my hearing ability. I am more fluent in heart languages, rip your soul up and let me read it out loud, the voice in my chest still lives.
The ego that ripped you off your dad, because your mother refused to hear him out when he didn’t come home last night. His boss had told me your dad was just working late to avoid coming home early to your ever yelling mother.
I’m sorry I rubbed it in like that. But it’s like being grabbed by the balls and squeezed to the corners of weakness by children. Yes children, because this man of the house takes care of your mother like his firstborn.
That ego that showed you you’re more powerful than your teachers, you put them there. If not you they’d be prolly jobless, the ego that shows a man he didn’t lose, and we Kesha at the supreme court. The ego that told your brother Rasta never bows that he blew it off at work cos he was high.
It’s so pricey that in bits you lost it all, your family, your job, and you! Yourself! Ego won, and it devoured you so bad.
You’re at the mercy of those who did not give up on you during your reign of dominance! Your ego cost you!