Let’s talk abit,but you won’t today,I will. About emotional manipulators, narcissists,rippers of joy. Everything they took away from you and I in bits. Slowly turning you against yourself till it’s working.
Did you know? When someone you’ve loved or known so long hurts you,you don’t hate them,you hate yourself instead. Now you’re a spectator of your own life. The people you walked on egg shells for because they scared you. I know you’ll never admit you are scared. But of what exactly? Maybe it was your dad,your teachers,your mom,your uncle,your boss,the society. We blame the society,but we are Society. It’s so heartbreaking when you set yourself on fire to keep the narcissists happy when you’re sooty. Die a million deaths so they live but still,you are the bad one. They come as victims when you don’t do it their way,now you’re pathetic,no you’re cursed aren’t you?
How do you run? Tell me how you get away from the bullies at your work place when you can’t quit. My shoes are laced up, I’d run too hard without looking back, but how do you run away from internals?
Is coping even an option when you’ve tried it over the years and all it did was rip you off your joy? Now you’re this saddist who hurt people because hurt people, hurt people. And when you run out of people to hurt now you hurt us! No you hurt your students,you hurt your kids,you hurt your employees because you’re pathetic but that’s all you see in others because goodness spots goodness.
Idiocy spots idiots and the bad will always attract evil. But if you don’t get a reflection of you in them,you create it because you can! Your power now is just a liability. Funny how receptors of shit quit and the givers still play victims of loss. How do you run from a family that set your soul on fire? Talk to me,my shoes are laced. Teach me how to swallow my saliva when it’s turned into fire because I swallowed my tears and yours when you couldn’t cry not to be seen weak. I carried it for you and now I can’t spit because if I do,the world will be set ablaze. Oops I almost forgot am bound to silence! But my heart breaks,the deafening silence from my heart pits are gnawing on my chest and my pen yet again bleeds!
Sorry that when you spoke to me about emotional manipulators I didn’t listen dear friend. But most of all, apologies for putting it this way dear friend. Sorry that I cried writing this and forgot to remind you that I am your therapist who needs a therapist. I am that savior who needs saving. But saviors don’t ask for saving I am just a child! An old soul. You counting on me is draining the kid,forcing me to grow is only killing me early. Because the more I understand,the more I wish I didn’t! And the more I’ll bite my pillow not to cry in the night. There’s secrecy in darkness that only dawn can whisper. But it won’t,coz I did!