Masked Disguise

If you could see through these eyes
You too, would wear this disguise
You too, would paint this mask
You too, wouldn’t dare to ask

That is, the dreadful questions
The what if’s and the could be’s
The Questions filled with sorrow
The man who’s too blinded to see

He just cant wrap his mind around it
He cant figure out all the reasons
Why does life have to be like this?
Why do we go through dreadful seasons?

Why did I have to be like that?
Why was it so sinister in my head?
Why do I have to bleed like this?
Am I better off dead?

The pain is so fierce
I quiver like a boy
Why do I dwell here?
I dont get the ploy

What are the reasons
For these feelings of defeat?
Am I strong enough to survive it ?
Or will I be filled with deciet?

Will I listen to the lies
That infiltrate my mind?
Or will you hear my cries
And come in the nick of time?

Will you come to the rescue
When I’m stuck in the dark?
Will you provide me with your light?
In the night will you be my spark?
.
.
.
These are the questions I ask
I repeat them daily
I no longer keep them hidden
I scream God save me

I scream it loudly
I let my emotions go
I surrender my self
And he gives relief to my soul

I imagine what my life would be like
If I lost all this pain
Would I even have a reason to go on?
Would I even get on my knees to pray?

I see now that my pain is necessary
So Im learning how to embrace it fully
I wear this thorn inside my flesh
And it keeps my mind from getting wooly