Losing a loved one can be really tragic. It can really reap out a piece of you. What hurts the most is the fact that there was still more to share. Personally for me January this year has been tragic, I lost two of my paternal aunts who were more of my second mothers in this world.
How does one deal with a losing a loved one?
The understanding that there is pain, tragedy and despair in life, understanding that our time here on earth is borrowed is very important. Taking the opportunity to allow our lives to be like the flow of the river.
When tragedy strike do trust that the pain will heal. It is very painful I know my pain cannot be compared to another person’s pain. My feeling of lose can also not be compared to any other persons pain. In the same way I cannot truly feel the magnitude of lose someone else is going through.
In that regard I have taken this platform to take one through;
1. the grieving process
2. how to deal with one who is grieving
1. THE GRIEVING PROCESS
Lose is what leads to grieving. The most basic reaction to lose of a loved one is denial. It is really hard to accept that one has lost a loved one. It is very normal to be in denial. The pain is very intense and it is really hard to come to terms with in the first three months are usually amongst the toughest. According to psychologist this period is when one has to learn to come to terms with the loss.
During the burial the individual may receive a very good support system. However after the burial time most families are left alone to deal with the loss. It is important to learn how to fight the battle on your own, however, friends are encouraged to be there for the begrieved .The aspect of presence is really important.
If one was very close to the one they have lost, this is a part of their lives that will forever be present. There is nothing that can be felt and more clear as absence. The absence and void will live on ad still be felt.
2. Question is how do you deal with one who is grieving?
This can be in two angles;
How do I deal with it myself?
How do I help a fellow deal with it?
In personal aspect, one will forever have the pain, however, with time the pain subsides. There will be times when days will seem darker and things will seem tougher, this is when you inspire yourself that there will be better days. In every season do simply trust in God. Knowing that even though you do not see hope for the future He is there full of grace full of mercy. Our time here is to fulfill a specific purpose therefore you still have to keep at your mission. Picking up the lessons learnt from the individual who has passed. Things may not be easy but there will a better day ahead.
As a second party, it is hard to see a fellow hurting. This is the time to be present for the individual. Do more of listening, it simply helps. One thing is different people have different ways of dealing with things some express it some suppress it .Time is the best medicine .Give the bereaved time to mourn .Understanding will be a great help at such a point in time.
To however need to hear this, may God grant you strength in this season. Give it time, things will get better.
