To belong. It’s not something I’ll gladly talk about. I hate illuminating relevant insecurities of the faking many but here we are. They kept telling us that home is where the heart is, but then again what if the heart is shredded, absent or dim? Where do you belong then? You rummage through so much so long to try fill the void that exists inside of you, that in between the search you loose yourself soughting that sense of belonging.
It hurts so bad to not feel comfortable and have to live with it as it is because of the closed options around you and in fear of the unknown you now in defeat. The void becomes a part of you and like a leach is stuck with you that you learn how to carry it well even when it hurts so bad but you can’t talk about it because it seems too lame for anyone else who isn’t trecking your path. It’s never easy existing amongst people who listen to you but can’t hear you. Most of the message is in the unspoken.
Who peeps behind your smile and pats your shoulder with love just to let you know they can feel the void digging inside of you?
We try so hard to patch our insecurities in critics and mostly we hurt others to balm ourselves. The demon in humans leads them to think that dimining me will you shine or perhaps improve your esteem and courage.
Remember the nature of ego? Well belonging is quite sad to talk about. It could take years or never to convince yourself that you belong. Especially if you were natured being outshined by your own. Pardon me for reminding you how awkward you feel, sometimes stupid and other times lame.
Ever been new in a school or a job and met the arrogant colleagues?
You’ve felt alone for so long that when a good person comes your way you don’t know how to respond so you shove them off and miss out on the good that could be because you are sad. Overthinker or not, there’s so much we conceal to perhaps balm wounds. There’s always a sentimental burn burn in you that you could never talk about.
This are things we carry to our grave. Being an extrovert doesn’t seem a thing from my view. Yes you could be outspoken in the mind and the face of the earth but be a loner in the heart and soul. You feel so alone, lock people out and cringe to the clutches of your meek soul.
It hurts to belong without belonging!
You just wish you could belong somewhere but no, nothing seems it. No matter what the void is still there. Ain’t easy